Sunday, March 18, 2012

Of Spiritual Winter, the coming of Spring, 'Mahabbah' and the Hereafter

At this juncture in my life, the feeling of 'mahabbah' is both overwhelming and fairly depressing for me.[ Arabic for 'love' for want of better words, in Malay, 'kecintaan', both 'love and kecintaaan oftentimes denote a sexual connotation. Mahabbah is not that kind of 'love'. Mahabbah for the Prophet for example .]
I see young people coming through my 'door' hanging on to dear life and out of 'political correctness'  I realise there is very little I can do to  uplift their  'spiritual winter'. Their physical hearts tottering on the verge of stopping. They seek my 'expertise'  for their physical hearts, but I know their inner hearts were in worse predicament. And most time I know they would not be hanging around for a long time. 'Mahabbah' and some degree of sadness.

I am sure all of you experience this kind of feeling at some time or other. A loss of a good friend of a different spiritual upbringing for example. For me this is happening with even more regularity, even with  mere acquientance, and lately ,even without 'loss' of  still living people I passed by in the lift, see in the clinic and meet at the market place etc and etc.

Mahabbah and some degree of sadness. Sadness in the realization that there is nothing I can do to change their ' perspective' and course.
'We are just like ships passing by in the night', even with our wives, sons and daughters and close relatives and friends !

Just yesterday a dear friend and colleague, a very senior consultant anaesthetist, excellent in his job, the very best in his field I would say. [ He gave 'gas' to a patient of mine with just a 15 % left ventricular ejection fraction who underwent a hip operation not once but twice and patient survive. The cardiologist nearly died twice of fright ! ]. A devout Hindu, he  just passed away, his whole body riddled with cancer. 

Oftentimes when I had bad 'cases' in the wee hours of the morning needing intubation and artificial ventilation, when the whole world are in deep slumber, Datuk Radha would answer his hand phone as if  'freshly awake'.
"....eeh by the way Datuk, when do you sleep ?"
"I will be there  for you in a jiffy Nik, I just finished prayer at the temple"
That was Datuk Radha, that I knew.

The week prior to his demise, he was in Sime Darby Medical Centre. Visiting him was difficult for me. Not visiting him was also difficult. The 'shahadah' was on my mind, and there dying in his bed, my friend, and I can't but looked and offer some nonsensical, meaningless niceties 
So much for 'politically correctness'.
Even if I do, decades of saying no to 'the Obvious' and His meseenger, to Him, to the Omnipotent and to His last messenger, may not change the final scenario.....................but how would I know?
I did not have the gall, the bullheadedness and the conviction to even try ! And how would I know ? 

I have 'mahabbah' for nice, excellent honest hardworking very spiritual  people like Datuk Radha.
I have 'mahabbah' also for honest non spiritual people around me.
I even have 'mahabbah' for the high brows people like the 'NFC lot' or the 'liberal lot'.....
That, in the current context of political correctness I have few option to reach them, is quite depressing  and sad for me.
Maniam, the news vendor; Richard Lim, my pious 'new born Christian' neighbour; that smiling young lady in the lift; a couple of big time CEO's. The list goes on and on, and at last almost all that 'rub' you in your everyday life.. Even a couple of'sultans' or two who seemed to be  somehow 'lost'. At this level, dangerous even just thinking about it. 
But why not for 'mahabbah', mashaallah.

I can imagine the Prophet's [ pbuh ]'mahabbah' for his uncle Abi Talib. His loss and ensuing 'depression must be a million times more. Abi Talib was his 'rock' during the early Mekkan days of Islam.
The utube lecture down here is an excellent lecture, not exactly on the theme of 'mahabbah'  per se, by Shaykh Ninowy. But it touches it indirectly.
An excellent one.

Such mesmerizing lecture from this shaykh..........
I feel like crying.
Such passion and beauty.

'' When you do tawaf, you do not do it with your body, you do it with your hearts''
'' Some people come back with gifts that they bought from the bazaar, while some come back with gifts from the 'owner of the bazaar Himself !', "

Mashaallah ! In this time of gloom, I miss the Kaabah.

Related articles in the blog :
Unto Him is the journeying,
True Success in Life.....Shaykh Khalid Yasin
Morning has broken

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